Do Good, For It Is You Who Would Benefit From It

 Don't Fear. Indeed, Allah is with you. Be confident.

What struck me when reading today's paper is that conformity in some way relates to self-esteem.
A person conforms to norm because this person wants to avoid being prosecuted against or being seen with negative image due to dissonance. When one conforms, one increase self-esteem because of his/her own perception as conforming party and others' view that the person is indeed conforming.

Is that the same case with religion? When you're conforming to something, a ruling, a norm, you know you're doing the right thing and that makes you feel good about yourself, thus boosting confidence. On the other hand, when you do bad things, you know that's bad even though on the outside we say it's a good thing, thus degrading self-esteem? Is that really the way it works?

Doing the right thing, what you personally perceive as the right thing, which might differ from others, would make you feel good about yourself and thus increase your self-confidence. Doing otherwise ruin your confidence.

That is why, it is said that when you do sins, when you conduct immoral actions, you're oppress yourself. You're being unjust to your own self. You ruin your own soul.

How Writing Can Help Me Stay Sane

 It is really interesting that I have this space. A room, or maybe a nature where I can shout but only 1 or two can listen to me shouting. Even when I scream the loudest, nobody would listen to this particular scream. Coz maybe those who read it don't know me. And those who know me don't read it. 

It is fun to know that fact. And it makes my finger dance even more bouncing from one letter to another, crafting words after words to let me out of whatever it is I have in my mind or my heart. 

Writing is my way of exploring myself deeper, and relieving my burden. I have these loads of bullshits I need to let out and nobody would care about whether it will be pretty or not. 

Or maybe I can even write a story about something, that nobody knows whether it's going to be read of publish somewhere or not. But then who cares, it's about me creating something that maybe I will be the part of that fun. 

A Greet

 North Sydney waves hello from afar this morning , through a transparent narrow window to my left. Cloudy and windy as it looks, I can see dancing bushes peeking from on behind the rooftop of Fisher library, where I am sitting right now. The sun challenges the day gallantly, suggesting hey people be bright and happy. Silent, though a bit of whirring sound from air conditioner accompanies my study session.

This might sound simple but this is all that I've been wishing all my life since I was in high school. Studying abroad. And here I am, studying in Australia, away from my hometown. Smile, hey lovely me, coz beautiful future awaits ahead of you. .

=)

Uncaged Tweets

 It's not for anyone to read, just for myself to write.

It's not for image-creating, just myself being me.
I won't lie, but I won't tell the exact truth.
Coz the real me needs a sanctuary, a place I can save for myself.
A space I don't tell people, a lie I uncover, a life that I won't even bother.

Real life can be rough, but I won't live my fantasy here.
A complain might be indulging, but life story is never too subjective.
There's a reason behind something, there's a why that a thing happen.
You live a life of a normal people, concealed within tho, a suffer.
Let this be a moment where time stop, and people don't see me.

Study, social, career, marriage, jobs, achievements, things that people want to see from you.
But things are never as simple as getting those.
A simple thing can be much too complicated for one.
And this place is where rage, sorrow, anxiety, cheer, explosive emotions, unleash itself...

Semarang, belajar lagi

Lelah betul, setelah perjalanan dua jam dari Jogja ke Semarang. Iya, aku sekarang di Semarang, tempat dulu aku kuliah bertahun-tahun, negeri yang sudah serasa rumah di setiap jengkal sudutnya. 

Tapi kali ini berbeda. Aku kembali untuk terasing, mencari jalan terang dari hidupku yang kusam belakangan. Bukan berarti pasti usai kusut masalahku, tapi aku punya keyakinan yang baik dengan kota dan saudaraku di sini. 

Ada Muhammad, yang siap membantu dan memang telah dan terus membantu selama hidupku beberapa tahun belakangan. Senang betul ada saudara macam dia ini. Dan setia betul ia menemani. Baiknya aku bersyukur atasnya. Manusia yang sabarnya luar biasa dan ikhlasnya kukagumi, yang cerdasnya dan telitinya tak mampu kutandingi. Yang ilmu agamanya begitu luas. Maka sebagai faqir ilmu sepatutnya aku menghargainya, menimba ilmu lebih banyak darinya. 

Dan lebih penting lagi, belajar beradab darinya pula... 

Dunia itu penuh dengan orang-orang macam Muha ini, rif. Maka tundukkan kepalamu, buka mata hatimu, bahwa ilmu dan pelajaran ada dimana saja dan dari siapa saja. Merendah hatilah, sadari diri bahwa ilmu memang sesungguh dan sejatinya tak seberapa. Maka teruslah belajar dari siapa saja, dimana saja dan kapan saja. Karena Allah menciptakan alam untuk dipelajari, jadi kamu lebih paham kuasa Allah yang begitu tak terbatas. 

Bismillah, belajar dari manusia dan dunia...